The Simple Things

There are so many simple things in life that on a normal day we take for granted....well I used to take for granted, not any more though. One of the biggest lessons I learned from losing my mom is that there is no guarantee and that every moment is a gift....it is the simple things that count. We celebrated Thanksgiving with my in laws this year...first for that, why did we wait so long? Why did it take losing mom to finally get us all together for a holiday. I had all of my family in one place...minus the two biggest people in my world that is...mom and Eric. Eric was in Ohio to be with Larry during his time of need so I celebrated Thanksgiving with his parents, my bro and sis in law, my dad, my brother, my Nanny, and for the first time in over 10 years...my uncle. The day was nice, but I couldn't help asking myself...why, why did we wait so long to do this...all I've ever wanted is for our families to come together and this year it happened. This was a simple thing, the joining of two families, but it was HUGE and I'll never forget it. I miss my mom so much, the simple things...her voice, her smell, her touch.....all of her. Being home with Dad and Nathan in a home that she created was hard, it tore me up to think of the two of them surrounded by her all the time. I cleaned out her bathroom so that Dad could move his stuff in- she kicked him out years ago....he willingly shared with Bubba. It took me a couple hours to go through the bathroom....the bathroom....I can't imagine what going through every room in the house will be like. Like I told my dad, we'll have to do it a room at a time....slow and steady. The urn was on the shelf and I noticed it right away...hard to think that her physical self is on the shelf in the living room. I'm mostly just rambling today, no clear thoughts, but sometimes that is all I have.....random thoughts that make no sense at all. The simple things like watching the weather make me miss her, the smell of a book make me miss her, the sound of the soap opera she watched forever make me miss her, making dinner makes me miss her, feeling sick makes me miss her, my girls being happy makes me miss her....the simple things make me miss her. Someday I'll find comfort in these simple things, but for now the simple things are the hardest for me....missing her has become a part of my breathing....
Jeremiah 29:11
Mel